Reach for the future
by Sushigirl10
Summary: Nine years after Mary dies. Dwight and Sam remember their final moments with Mary, and how they learn to look for a new adventure.
1. The beginning

Reach for the future

Chapter 1: The beginning

**A/N: This is a tribute to GleekAnnette17!**

**Disclaimer: I don't, under any curcumstances, own Glee!**

I wish I could understand why? Why did this have to happen? Why my mom? Why on my birthday? I wish this feeling of being empty would just go the hell away, I'm so damn tired the sad stairs. The 'I'm fake sorry's' No-one gives a shit other than my own family. Even then I feel like they don't understand what I face year after year.

While other kids celebrate their birthdays. I celebrate the anniversary of my moms death.

While other rich kids have a shit load of money because their parents have damn good job. I inherited my money. While some rich kids hate their parents for never being home. I would give anything to have my mom back. While some kids find out that their parents died. I watched my mom die. Fuck life. My name is Samuel Mary Patrick Evans, I'm 15. My mom Mary Alice Harlow Evans died on the day of my 7th birthday.

X

Sam's POV

Two days earlier...

_Flashback_

"Samuel baby. Look to the camera." My papa yelled from a few feet away.

"Look baby. Its Papa" My Mama says as she holds me close to her. Her arms wrapped around my waist. Never to let go.

"Hi Papa!" I wave to him. Just then snow starts to fall.

"Dwight, we should go inside before this little boy gets sick" Mama says as she wraps me in her sweater.

"Just a little longer momma!" I say as I kiss her cheek.

"Okay just a little longer" She says with a smile. She holds me closer. "I love you my little star"

"I love you too momma." I say back as I nuzzle my head on my moms shoulder and drift off to sleep.

_End of flashback_

Alarm goes off.

May, 2010

Dear Journal,

I did it. I woke up once more from a dream. A dream that I wished I could have went on forever. I dream that everything went back to the way it was. I've tried so hard to be happy. I really have tried. Its hard to move on when HER things are still in the same place as they were when she left. Everything is still there. Right down to the quilt she made me the week after she came home from the hospital.

My 16th birthday is coming up in a few days. Fuck, a reminder of why I know I wont do all the things I say I would do. I know I should be excited about my coming of age, but I honestly don't give a shit. Age is just a number to me. Some people say that age makes you wiser. The years a person has grown to have.

To me years reminds me of what I lost almost nine years ago on the very day that I was a year older. NINE years, Nine years of remembering the morning in which my dad told me my mom had died that very morning. Nine years of sadness, and hopelessness. Nine years of hoping that someday I might wake up and not feel so cheerless. Maybe one night I'll sleep through the night and not hear my dad crying in his sleep, or find him with a glass of Whiskey sitting alone in the living room at three in the morning crying. One day I'll wake up and not hate my birthday. One day hasn't come soon enough.

I HATE MY BIRTHDAY

X

I finished writing in my journal and made my way downstairs to the kitchen, where dad was making waffles for breakfast.

"Morning dad" I say I sit on a chair at the kitchen table.

"Morning champ, how are you feeling today?" Dad asks as he sets a plate of waffles in front of me and leans over and ruffles my light blonde hair, styled into a Justin Bieber cut, of cause.

"I'm a little soar. Last nights rehearsals were intense. I'm singing 'I'll be true to you' by The Oak Ridge Boys" I reply as I pour hot syrup on my waffles.

"I thought you were gonna do a pop song?" Dad questions with a puzzled look on his face, he takes a sip of his coffee.

"The music Mr Schue gave me was too hard to follow. I'd rather stick to what I know" I lied.

Its not that I can't keep up with a basic pop number because I can, the music is too jolly-oly. It's was to happy for me, I just don't feel that way. If, and when I do an upbeat dance I want to mean it in and out.

"I look forward to hearing you sing. Do you need new guitar picks?" Dad said, smiling at me.

"Na, I have the pair you got me for the last performance, which was like last month. I should be fine for this piece." I said as I dug in to my breakfast.

"Okay. Well then let me know about costumes I'm sure your aunt Dolly can't wait to design something that will certainly stand out" Dad said as he sat in front of me with his own plate of food.

"No worries I will. I swear I have more awards for best costume, than my actual singing!" I laugh.

"Dolly sure knows how to make a statement" Dad smiled, he looks down at his plate for a moment. I can feel this sadness from him when ever I mention costumes and guitar picks.

"Dad, are you mad that I'm more of a singer than a dancer?" I asked as I looked at Dad, dreading his answer.

His head immediately shot up. The look of worry is all over his face.

"Son, why on earth would you ever think that?" Dad ask with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'm just curious." I said softly.

"Did someone at school put this in your head?" His tone now more angry.

"Maybe..."

His head tilts to the right side, which often means spill or die.

"My Glee club director encouraged me to sing for the new assignment, he said that it would make you proud" I confess.

Dad quickly stands up and walks around the table and puts his arms around me.

"Baby, I love you no matter what you choose to do. If you love singing more than dancing, then sing! I'm gonna be proud of you no matter what you do" Dad said as he holds me close to him. "Your mom and I made a vow the day you went into your first singing class, that we would let you be what ever you wanted to be. If you wanted to join the Circus than we would sign you up. I don't want you to sing because you think I will love you more."

"I just feel like you want me to be her" I say sadly.

"Baby no, I want you to be my son. Smart, funny, stubborn, spunky and most of all determined. Your mom was all of those things, but it doesn't mean I want you to be her. I want you to sing because I know it makes you happy. If your happy than so am I" Dad said as he kisses the top of my head. "I love you so much for because you're my baby"

"Thanks Dad, I love you too"

"Now get your butt to school. I want to hear that song" Dad says as he kisses my forehead.

"It'll be the best one you've ever heard" I say with a smile.

"Good, I expect nothing less"

"I'm going to school. Apparently Rachel will kill me if I'm late for Glee this morning" I say as I grab my bag.

"Have a great day, kiddo" Dad say as he kisses my cheek before I walk down the hallway.

"You too Dad!" I call back with a smile on my face. I head out the door and out of the building. Downstairs waiting for me are my cousins Luke and Andrea.

Living to me isn't the same anymore. I know there's more to life than death. Its everywhere around me. Why did my life have to be filled with so much pain, and sadness. Its like I'm repeating her story once more. She had talent beyond words, but was isolated because of so much pain. Now here I stand living that same life.


	2. Back to the past

Reach for the future

Chapter 2: Back to the past

**Disclaimer: I don't, under any curcumstances, own Glee!**

Dwight's POV

June 1997: Sam, age 3

It's been three years since Mary went into remission. Three years since I almost lost her. Three since my now three year son almost didn't have his mother. That's now in the past and we've moved on. Samuel is growing up very fast. He's our every bliss. Our entire world. He's cute and smart, tall for a boy his age. I'm so glad he's taking after me. Mary is great at her height, but I know it was a challenge for her growing up. I'm happy our son doesn't have to go through the same thing. Samuel has an equal split between Mary and I appearance wise and in personality. He looks more like Mary with his light blonde hair, but beautiful face. He does take my height and dimples though. We couldn't ask for a more perfect family.

Mary put our son in a singing class when he was only two. He really took to it very well. Samuel's instructor says he's the best in the class for being so young. Of course he would be the best. He's Mary's son. Competitive, and driven.

HP productions is better than I ever thought possible. We've made more stars than we ever thought possible. The company did so well; we were able to buy a new building that was much bigger. So now we can have twice the amount for students than we've ever been able to have.

My life couldn't be more perfect.

"Hey babe" I say to my wife as I walk through the bedroom door after a long day of auditions.

"Hey honey. How were the auditions?" Mary says in a very tired voice. She starts to get up looking very weak. A weakness I can tell is not good.

"Great. We did open, and free auditions for singers today. We don't see enough singers" I say as I sit next to her. I remove her hair from her face. Her eyes have bags under them.

"That's great, Dwight. We need to do more country singers. We've been so focused on modern and pop singers, and we haven't given singing much time. Did you see anymore that you liked?" She asked in a very tired voice.

"There are a few boys and girls that stood out" I say in confidence. "Where is Samuel?" I ask as I realize the house is silent. No squeaky voice at the door waiting for me. No little smile.

"Emma took him and the kids to 'Kids Palace' for a little while. She took one year old Elijah, four year old Andrea, and seven year old Riley. She needed them to burn off some energy so they would sleep at night. Emma offered to take Sam so he could play too" Mary says looking like she would crash any minute. "Jane took Luke, and Courtney too."

"Our awesome moms are having play dates. Why didn't you go?" I question. Mary never misses play dates with the kids. Then my worst fear started to hit. I can't think like that now.

"I've been working on getting agents to come to the next show. I just got tired" Mary moans. Mary tries to work at home from time to time so she could have time with our son, but I know well enough that she's too tired to leave the house.

"Okay then. I'm gonna hit the shower. Wanna join me?" I ask in a seductive tone as I start to take off my clothes very slowly.

"Not today. I'm so….tie..red." Mary starts to say, but suddenly faints.

"Mary!" I yell as I pick Mary up in my arms. I lift her shirt to see bruises all over her stomach.

No not again. Please don't let this happen yet again.

I quickly call 911, and then call Emma to meet me at the hospital. My heart is racing in fear.

Upon arrival at the hospital; Mary's doctor meets me at the door and then takes Mary. I watch helplessly as the paramedics take my wife away from me yet again. Each time they take her from me I feel as if I might never get her back.

"Dwight, we're here" I hear Emma say as she walks through the door with Jane and six young children.

My arms quickly reach down and pick up my own kid; wanting to keep him close to me.

"What happened?" Jane asks looking worried. Her own children looking scared.

I shake my head to the side.

"No..." Emma says sadly. "...Are you sure? Maybe its something else"

"Its never something else" I say. I look at my son sadly. Knowing he might lose his mom.

"Papa, I want mama" Samuel ask looking sleepy.

"She's with the doctor, she'll be out soon" I reply as I touch his little nose. He smiles at me. The innocence of a child is beautiful, and yet heart breaking.

"K papa" He says as he lays his head on my shoulder.

"Did you have fun today?" I ask him with a laugh. His face is covered with orange and black paint mixed with glitter.

"I had lots of fun" Samuel says with such joy in his little voice. A joy I hope he doesn't lose. "I got my face painted papa!"

"I see that. What did you have painted on your face?" I ask as I take a wipe from his baby bag and start to wipe the orange and black off of him. Mary hates it when Samuel's face is dirty with anything.

"A tiger. It had lots of gitter" Samuel says with wide eyes. His smile lights up my heart. The love a father has for a son is indescribable.

"What kind of tiger did you have painted on you?" I ask as I wipe off the last bit of paint from his tiny face. I kiss the side of his head.

"I dunno. It was orange and black" Samuel says happily.

"I'm sure it was cool" I smile as I wipe the last little bit of paint off my son's tiny face.

"Yes!" He says in excitement.

"I think he might have a thing for tigers when he gets older" Emma laughs as she rocks her son back and forth.

"Or a vegetarian, like Mary" Jane adds with an evil look on her face.

"Not likely. Mary feeds him meat. I mean, when he gets older maybe, but for now he's a meat eater. Huh baby?"

"I like meat" Samuel says in the cutest tone. I smile down at him. He starts to yawn shortly after.

I walk around with my little boy in hopes he'll fall asleep before the doctor comes out. I don't want him to hear the bad news if it is what I think it is, but I know it always is.

"Is he asleep?" Jane asks, who has her three month old daughter in her arms.

"Yeah" I say sadly. I touch Samuel's head softly. He's too little for him to lose his mom. A mom he adores.

"Dwight, it's going to be okay" Jane assures me.

"Jane, you and I both know that she's never made it to more than a few years without relapsing. She's been living with this illness since she was a little girl. How much can the human body take before it gives up?" I question sadly. I don't want to think like this, but I know Mary's cancer is very rare, and the few that have survived is even rarer.

"You never know. You might get lucky this time." Jane says, wanting to hold back her tears.

"For the sake of my son. I hope so." I say as I lean my head on Samuel's tiny head.

"Your little singing star had the time of his life today by the way" Jane adds softly.

"Thanks for taking the time with him. Sam loves playing with Andrea"

"So does she. I think these two are either gunna be best friends when they get older, or date" Jane says with this semi concerned look on her face. "I mean, face it Dwight. We're not blood related. They could date if they wanted to"

"Let's not talk about that. He's still my little boy for a very long time" I say scared. It's too soon for that type of conversation.

Almost an hour later Mary's doctor comes out of the room. His face distraught. He shakes his head.

"Dwight, I'm so sorry" He starts to say, but his words become an echo. "Mary's cancer is back. Unfortunately due to her past medical history I don't think chemo will be much help this time around. I can try with something stronger, but it may not be much help"

"What other option is there?" I hear Will say behind me. His words are so far away.

"We can try a bone marrow transplant" The doctors say unhopefully.

"What about Samuel's cord blood? Dwight saved that for whatever emergencies" Will says as he takes my sleeping son from my arms. I can barely feel the movement.

"It might give her more time, but I doubt it will be much help" The doctor says with hope.

"How much more time?" I finally find the words to say.

"A couple of years, maybe three. It all depends on how well Mary's body takes treatment" The doctor explains.

"So you're telling me that Mary's dying?" I question with tears in my eyes.

"Dwight, Mary is a fighter. She's managed to make it this far with type of cancer. I'm surprised she has lived as long as she has. Most APL patients don't live longer than two years after being diagnosed" he says. His words become cold to me.

"Dwight, I'm so sorry man" Will says as he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"It's not your fault man. It's no one's. The Doctor's right. Mary's life is a miracle" I says, I can feel the tears hot on my face.

"Uncle Dwight don't be sad. Aunt Mary's gonna be fine" I hear Riley as she hugs my leg. I pick her up in my arms and look into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I know baby. I just don't know how to be a daddy by myself without Aunt Mary"

"Aunt Mary knows how to kick cancer's butt. She'll do it again" Riley says in a hopeful tone.

"I know she will" I smile sadly at my goddaughter. "I hope so"

In my heart I know everything was going to change forever.


	3. Look alive, Sunshine!

Reach for the future

Chapter 3: Look alive, Sunshine!

**Disclaimer: I don't, under any curcumstances, own Glee!**

Sam's POV

The sun feels fresh this morning. The start of a new life. A new day that I might come to enjoy for once. I want to move on with my life, but when I start to feel better I feel as I'm forgetting her, that's when I wind up where I have been for the past nine years. Poignant, and unable to move forward.

Sure I kick ass as a singer, but I do it to make HER proud. Sometimes I wish I loved dancing as much as she did. Would she have been more proud of me if I was a dancer and not a singer?

"Hey Sam!" Andrea greeted me first as I walk out of the door. I give her a big hi five. I can't help but crack a slight smile

I remember my dad telling Aunt Jane that Andrea and I might end up dating as teens. Which is weird because all I see in her is a sister to be honest. She's family. Jane's my godmother. Just because we don't share blood doesn't make us any less family. Its like gross to think that Andrea and I could ever date.

"Hey Andrea, hey Luke" I say back with a smile.

"And he smiles." Andrea says sarcastically. Her arms are up in the air. Almost like she's celebrating.

"Kiss my ass Cole!" I snap at her and throw a pen at the back of her head. "Smartass brunette"

"Okay there's the Sam that we know and love!" Luke says with an evil smile.

"Screw you too, Summers!" I laugh.

"Hey so someone's b-day is coming up. What are we doing for the big 1-6?" Andrea asks optimistically. She has that million dollar smile that makes her who she is.

I look at her with piercing eyes.

"Kill the mood why don't you Cole!" Luke shouts at her.

"Sorry Sam. I didn't forget. I just thought maybe you might want to celebrate your birthday for once and not be sad. I mean its your coming out party. Your dad is finally letting you have a car, a SUV Crossover" Andrea says, trying to light up the mood.

"Seriously Sam. I mean it is the 21st century" Luke says in a snotty tone.

"I would have to agree!" Andrea adds.

"Anyway! I don't care what century it is. If Dad says no driving till I'm officially 16 than so be it. Besides. The faster I get this stupid birthday over with it. The better" I roll my eyes. We continue to walk towards Mckinley High School.

"Okay then. That answers that question." Andrea says in a scared voice.

None of us started attending public school until Junior year. Dad didn't like all the budget cuts, and how little money was put in education, so he thought private school was his bet at getting me a good education. The rest of the family agreed, and we were all in private school until we started at Mckinley. I honestly didn't like being around so many other rich kids. They're all snobs and kiss-asses.

"So do you have any idea what the new Glee club assignment is?" Luke asks in a perky tone. His short black hair is bouncing up and down. That boy always has a smile on his face. I don't know where the Summers blood is in him, because he's nothing like Aunt Emma. Uncle Nick, maybe.

"No clue. I bet you $150 that Rachel will get the solo" I say as I roll my eyes. Rachel always demands every solo on the planet!

"Cheer up Sam. I'm sure she's gonna be great." Andrea says in attempt to lighten up the mood.

If there's anyone that gets me, its Andrea. She knows how I feel about change.

When we get to the choir room, I completely fall off the radar of cool and lose my temper.

"I could care less who gets the solo. I just want this week to be over with." I say as we all head into the choir room. "It's just a day in the year." I shot back coldly.

"Sam, don't be like that. We know its hard on you." Andrea says as she pulls me close to her.

"Says the brunette with both parents still around." I snap.

"I know its unfair. I can't imagine losing either one of my parents to a rare illness and having to watch it all happen." Andrea says softly. "My mom tells me about her final days."

"Why did she have to die on my birthday? couldn't God or grandma, or whatever wait one more day before taking her from me!" I says pissed off.

"I'm sure there's a reason for all this." Luke says sadly.

"Like what!" I scream with tears in my eyes.

"I wish I knew." Luke says as he lowers his voice.

When Luke and Andrea drop me off to the choir room and head of to their Math class, I walked in and took my seat next to Finn and Rachel, everyone's staring at me.

Great.


	4. Madison

Reach for the future

Chapter 4: Madison

**Disclaimer: I don't, under any curcumstances, own Glee!**

When Sam sat down, he got his cell phone out and dialed his cousin, Madison's, number, ignoring the looks he was recieving from Will and the other members of the New Directions were sending his way.

"Hey Kiddo, not that I don't enjoy hearing from you, but what are you doing on the phone during Glee club rehearsals?" Madison asked as she answered her cell phone.

"My day just started and it's already going up in flames" Sam said in frustration, scaring the life out of Finn.

"Your Dad know you skipped yesterday?" asked Madison as she sat down on the couch in her living room.

"No, I'm sure he'll flip when he finds out" Sam admitted, dreading what his father will say.

"I'll talk to him. Besides you only act like this when your birthday is around the corner. I'm sure he'll understand" said Madison relaxed against her couch cushions.

"Madison, I wish I didn't feel like this anymore. I want to enjoy my life. I can find my way out of this. I haven't for nine years" said Sam as Quinn looked at him with a look of confusion in her eyes.

"Sam, your mom died when you were a kid, nevertheless on the very day that was suppose to be your day. No one was expecting you to be the way you were before. Death changes a person." Madison said with a sad tone in her voice.

"It's not right. I cant keep living like this. I'm turning 16 in a few days and yet I can't be happy. Mom wouldn't want me living like this" said Sam as Will looked at him in confusion.

"She would want you to be happy." Madison said as she thought about Mary.

"Sorry I walked out on class yesterday. I dldn't have the strength to be in that English class listening to my very nosey teacher; asking us about our personal lives. She has no idea how badly some of those other rich kids have it or how some of these kids are so rich"

"I know kid. Being rich isn't all that its cracked up to be" said Madison as she fanned herself with her hand.

"Your telling me! Dad and I have more money than we know what to do with!" said Sam, laughing quietly. "Hey Madison, why don't ever talk about your time over seas?" Sam asked, remembering the day Madison was deployed to the front line of the army.

"Because of the things I saw, no one should ever have to witness. I joined the military because I wanted to be more than just a pretty face. I didn't want to be another blond model with curly hair. I wanted to inspire women to be strong" Madison says sadly as she looks at the picture in her living room. "I lost a lot of my friends while I was out there. Good people"

"How do you cope with losing so many people you come to love?" Sam asked, remembering all of Madison's friends.

"I was taught not to feel, but being out there without loved ones, its hard not to get close to people. Therapy. I know its stupid, but taking to a person who was in the military helps. They know what I went through. My therapist gives me sleep meds to keep the nightmares at bay. I wouldn't want to be a danger to anyone" Madison said as she puts her feet up. "I know therapy possibly won't help in your case but talking to someone does help"

"Dad sent me to a support group for teenagers who have experienced loss a few months ago" Sam answered quickly.

After talking for ten more minutes, Sam hung up the phone and placed it back in his backpack, ignoring the look Quinn was giving him.


End file.
